Thoughts of a new era

I do not have a very clear idea of what I’m going to write. In the same way, as I don’t often plan my paintings & drawings. I just start doing it and see where the work takes me. Us artists are often kind of lone wolfs… You need solitude to be able to jump into the pool of creativity.

Being a somewhat ambivert (not introvert but definitely not an extrovert either) makes it easy but at the same time hard to get out of.

I’ve experienced loneliness many times in my life. Not just on my travels. Actually, during travels, it’s easier to get to know new people as everyone is open to new experiences and you are constantly active yourself. But also at home and when I’ve had 20 people on my speed dial. Guess that’s the melancholy coming from the dark nordic culture I was born in.

I often speak badly about living in Spain. I lived in stunning Costa del Sol for 4,5 years. I’ve said that I didn’t feel at home, there wasn’t anything else to do but drink and I never felt like I found my place there. All of these are true, but there’s one thing that I’ve clearly forgotten to represent in the correct value: the community. And my goodness there was an amazing community always available. Even if you didn’t want to call anyone specific to make plans, you could just pop out and someone would be there. You made new friends every week. Even as a little held-back person like me.

Looking at this old drawing of mine, I find it funny how often in life I’ve been thought of as a conservative or a quiet person.

PHAH!

Could have added “a weirdo” to the list, but hey, that one is true.

Now that I’m new in Dublin, I noticed that same issue. Not belonging. I’ve always had this continuous imposter syndrome in my life. Like I’m a guest in it or just an observer. It goes away very rarely. It’s interesting for sure, but sometimes you lose focus on what you were supposed to do on this visit. I got most of my belongings to Dublin yesterday and the room that I’ve been thinking more like a long-term hotel room, transformed into my place.

Guess I’ve been always thinking too much about the next step, next plan, and next place that I’ve never stopped to make the present more like me.

How to make your life feel like a holiday? Any opportunity; go for joyrides.